Vidica Simpson

“Doing  the some thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

This past weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving and as I was busy with preparations for the family dinner I was mindful to notice the many blessings I had to be thankful for.

It has been a very difficult year in many respects and at the same time a most terrific year, the flow of life. My personal belief is that the difficult times give me an opportunity to grow by stretching me beyond my ‘safe’ limits while the easy times allow me to catch my breath, enjoy  the results of my efforts and prepare me for the next growth spurt.

The thing that stands out most for me from this past weekend is how just when I think I’ve got it ‘right’ I find that I don’t. My children are usually the first to help me see this and back to the drawing board I go. I read somewhere that failure is good; each time I fail, I fail better and if I don’t give up I will eventually run out of ways to fail and that’s when I’ll get it ‘right’. I don’t know about you but I find this VERY exciting! There are only two key prerequisites that I must remember: each failure must be due to a different response from whatever my previous one(s) was and I must not quit until there is nothing left but success. It’s simply a process of elimination.

I am thankful for my children and the many opportunities they give me to stop the insanity!

Who helps you to stop the insanity?

Ok, so I just read something that I have to share with you ASAP!!!

Lately I’ve been reading some books by Alice Miller who primarily writes about childhood trauma and how it affects us in adulthood. I want to share an excerpt from a journal written by a recovering anorexic found in Alice Miller’s book titled “ The Body Never Lies”.

“I don’t want to die! You keep on saying I want to die, but it’s a lie, complete and utter nonsense. I want to live, but not the way other people tell me to, just so they can prevent me from dying. I want to live as the person I really am. But they won’t let me. No one let’s me. They all have designs on me. And what they’re really doing is snuffing out my life with those designs. I wanted to tell you that, but how could I? How can you tell people that, …………I really feel no one listens to me. ……..You say you want to listen to me, but all you do is try to impress me, you want to fool me, you want me to like you, admire you, and you want to get something out of this whole business……….. Genuine communication, something I’ve longed for all my life. My anorexia was a flight from this spurious, poisoned nourishment. It saved my life; it preserved my desire for warmth, understanding, communication, and exchange…….”-The Fictional Diary of Anita Frank

I continue to be haunted by ‘Anita’s’ truth after reading this because I know this is how we all feel. We all want someone to just listen, REALLY listen to us.  Sure, we don’t all express this need by becoming anorexic however let’s not kid ourselves, we all express our truth in our own way. Food, alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, nail biting, jogging, judging, criticizing, gossiping, over achieving, controlling………I have started to make a point of noticing how it manifests for me. Do you know how it manifests for you?