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Relationships

relationshipsThe purpose of every relationship is to show us who we are, while continually giving each person opportunities for personal growth. Only by being in a relationship can we see where our walls and barriers to love are.;

While we need the relationship to be a place of safety, our ego mind wants it to be the place where we don't have to work at anything or think about our wounds and what triggers us. We expect the other person to be understanding and compensate all our past hurts. A wound makes us retract and feel like it's not safe to love. Our personality characteristics are the result of our wounds. As adults we express pain through our character defects and why we get labeled as bossy, controlling, needy, demanding, angry, obnoxious, etc.;

Conscious living involves understanding at a certain point that it doesn't matter where or why we got wounded, what matters is that it's ours now and we're responsible for our behaviour and its effect on others. It's not just our behaviour but the style of our behaviour. It's not just what we say but how we say it.;

It's not other people’s responsibility to figure out what pain led us to behave in a hurtful way. This is what the spiritual journey is, situations come up and we're faced with our own stuff. Nothing puts us through this process like our intimate relationships. "Love brings up everything unlike itself". If there is any deviation from love it is the pain that leads us to it.;

Nature, in its wisdom, has set it up to be about self-actualization. All that is unhealed in us will come up in our relationships. My ego wants you to say and do everything that will make my life easy. The Universe says "I'm going to bring you that person who triggers you in the unhealed area to give you both an equal opportunity for growth." It's why we are brought to each other. There is a distinction between staying and acting responsibly, holding myself and the other accountable, vs staying and allowing myself to be abused.;

The issue is not that we attracted them. The issue is that we are attracted to them because we haven't learned the lesson. For example, it's not that they came into your life. It's that they came, you recognized them for who they are, and you still gave them your number.;

Love is all around us. Love is an emotional skill set. Love is a verb. Our success in this moment is determined by what we're willing to give, not get.;

The best way to prepare ourselves for love is by 'being' love in any situation. Romantic love is not where two emotional invalids come together in unison to complete each other. Real, sacred partnership is based on the desire to join forces and create together to be better and stronger than we could on our own.;

Based on the teachings of A Course in Miracles and a talk given by Marianne Williamson

Actions and Words
Closing the Gap

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Wednesday, 16 August 2017